I am 51, a very determined but tired and disabled independent mother and student psychotherapist, I’ve had a near fatal brain haemorrhage (27 years ago), I have re-learnt almost all of my previous base functions but I do not have the finesse, resilience or capacities of an un-injured person, struggle with continence, fatigue etc and clearly have spent 27 years being undervalued or talked down to, so perhaps I need a bit of compassion too. I have two young adult children who I have brought up alone. I need the extra bit of battery that both my brain injury and fibromyalgia have taken so your role changes depending on the household and my health, I need help with:
Daily domestic support (washing up, washing, ironing, putting away, hovering, mopping, cleaning and tidying)
My kids are amazingly musical and academically capable (despite being brought up by a sole disabled parent on a council estate), and I really do love them, I’m very lucky. We are now facing the really difficult transition of becoming a young adult/mum relationship and as both my kids have autism and I believe ADHD (waiting for screening), this dynamic is only made harder when we have builders in and either a very cramped summer or no contact/feedback at all – so it’s a hard dynamic.
My P.A doesn’t need to replace a family member at all! but there must be an understanding of boundaries/support/and the burden that both of my kids have had to carry at times, it has not been an easy life for either of them and they know that they DO far more in the home than their peers!
I have an allotment, which despite fallow years I have managed too keep and planted my spuds! I have balance and co-ordination issues which probable should have made me think twice about such a hilly plot! I am passionate about the swing to the far right and give a lot of my energy to community building with an emphasis on diversity and integration, human rights and kindness
Allotment and Gardening support (taking on big projects like painting the outdoor furniture, or daily maintenance such as watering, mowing, pruning, repotting and moving things)
I find it difficult to keep on top of my admin as I have a number of cognitive problems since my haemorrhage including huge problems with memory impairment, all systems are helpful if they are supported and kept up, but I really need the regular support of my PA to have an awareness of time-management and schedules/commitments!
Scheduling and tracking/recognition … brilliant I.T. knowledge is not really needed, but developing and keeping systems and drawing up a rota on the whiteboard
Finally there are pets, well tropical fish which do need a weekly water change which is more or less intense depending on algae blooms/water conditions. There is my future Labradoodle, although the more complicated my life gets the less confident I am that I can manage. This puppy will be coming to me in the autumn. I really need to provide really good structure and consistency for this lovely fluffy family member. He * will be a really helpful companion to me and a real support to emotional regulation for my autistic teenage son. My PA has to be good with dogs and be able to learn how we need to interact with a trainee support dog!
Currently I do 50% of the tank maintenance and I need my PA to do a water change weekly too! Its less intense in winter … but when the labradoodle comes I will need support with dod walking too.
